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For You
Saturday November 28, 2009

How Can I Determine Which Charity is Best to Give To?
Advice from Carolyn Hax


How Can I Determine Which Charity is Best to Give To?
By Billy Graham, Tribune Media Services
Q: About this time of year, it seems like my mailbox is filled with appeals for money from charities and other organizations. How can I know which ones are legitimate and really need my money? I don't have a lot to give but I don't want to see it go to waste. -- Mrs. N.McK.

A: Rightly or wrongly, many people wait until the end of the year to give money to organizations they wish to support, and that's one reason why charities and religious organizations often make special appeals then. Perhaps they also hope people will be filled with the Christmas spirit toward the end of the year, and will be more generous then.

Whatever the reason, I urge you to give as generously as you can this time of year -- especially since many groups are facing deep economic hardship. God has blessed most of us far more than we realize, and one reason He has given us so much is so we can help those who are in need. During a time of great celebration and feasting, the people of the Old Testament still kept "giving presents of food to one another and gifts to the poor" (Esther 9:22). May this also be true of us.

But I also urge you to give prayerfully -- that is, seek God's will for your giving. God knows that you can't do everything or meet every need. But you can help some, as God directs you. If you aren't familiar with an organization ask your pastor about it, or check to see if it's a member of a recognized monitoring agency (like the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability).

What we do with our money is important -- but even more important is what we do with our lives. Is Christ at the center of your life, and are you seeking to follow Him every day?

========

Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.


(c)2008 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

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More How Are You Comments and Scraps

Can a modern woman still allow a man to be head of the household? by DIANE GLASS, Ph.D. Atlanta Journal-Constitution Columnist The thought of someone else wielding authority and economic control over my life isn't a fantasy I indulge. And although some women view dependency as a positive, I feel this view is naïve when it comes to finances. Regardless of their actual contribution, the assumption already permeates our culture that men are heads of the household and "kings of the castle". Why would a woman embrace this hierarchy? Marriage should be equal and cooperative, not a reflection of corporate culture. Nevertheless, modern women can -- and often do -- choose to relinquish financial control to their husbands. But do modern women really want to? Bestowing decision-making authority on a husband or partner, under the best of circumstances, can work in your favor. But how many of us live in the best of circumstances? With the divorce rate at 50 percent you have a 50/50 chance of losing. Do you want to gamble with odds like this? Of course, dividing duties in relationships is one of the perks that affords us more time. Dividing the workload is a healthy result of sharing responsibility. And for those in traditional families, women wield their own power as the provider of domestic needs. Yet the traditional roles assigned to men and women have different degrees of respect and autonomy. The traditional woman's domestic role is undoubtedly the foundation of a family, her contribution priceless. Yet this foundation crumbles in a world driven by money. If a couple divorces, there is a good chance the wife will retain custody of the children. Not only does she have the responsibility of young lives but the extra burden of finding employment that compensates an often paltry child support stipend. The same logic extends to women without children. Major decisions, like finances, are decisions both sexes should share -- not relinquish -- because these are the things that make us safe in a world where men leave, husbands die and fathers fall on hard times. You'll often hear conservative arguments that blame women for the high divorce rate. Their logic assumes male superiority and faults modern women for emasculating, dehumanizing and ultimately alienating men. They argue that modern women are responsible for "male flight," while men are their hapless victims. But pointing fingers at women contradicts the core values of a marriage: it takes two people to make a relationship work. Surely relationships rest on stronger bonds than ego stroking and role-playing. If traditional families fall apart when a wife doesn't follow traditional roles, can we really claim that families are the "bedrock," the "foundation" of society? So let the Promise Keepers and the Million Man March join forces in a feeble attempt to win back what they view as their rightful place, citing the Bible and the Koran as proof positive that family leadership is their divine right. If women won't listen to men, surely they'll listen to a holy text. Well, some of them will. The rest of us prefer to be guided by our own rules -- those of the 21st century. By VERNADETTE BROYLES There has been gross misunderstanding regarding the issue of whether the man should be viewed the head of the household. Modern feminists would say no, never. Staunch traditionalists hold it's a man's "divine right." Both extremes miss the mark. I can affirm it is very much possible for a modern woman to allow her husband to be head of the household -- and to feel extremely loved and blessed in the process. But, it is only when spouses appreciate the true requirements of love and mutual respect that such an arrangement can be a blessing, and not a source of denigration to women. Probably the most quoted source for the notion of a husband's headship is the Bible. Yet the text many would cite starts out by commanding men and women to "submit one to another" out of respect for Christ. It, furthermore, makes clear that the only--and I repeat only -- way a husband can expect a wife to "submit" to his leadership is if he is submitted to God. Because God is love, the husband is commanded to reflect God's character in marriage by loving his wife as equal to himself. The Bible goes on explain this responsibility a husband has towards his wife in, perhaps, the best definition of love ever composed: "Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres." I can share from personal experience, and that of many women friends, it is neither difficult nor degrading to view as head of the household a man who loves you in this way -- a man who is kind, who eschews anger and intimidation, and who is willing to submit to you as well. Such men need not demand respect nor assume leadership -- they inspire it, instead, by the trust they invoke in their families. And yet, after working with literally hundreds of battered women, I am painfully aware that a presumption of male headship -- divorced from the constraints of Godly love and mutual submission -- has been used by far too many and for far too long to dominate, abuse, and denigrate women. As a result, whole cultures and eras in history have spawned a mindset of female inferiority and male entitlement. Leadership and respect are things to be earned by one's character -- not an entitlement by virtue of one's gender. A woman cannot be expected to view her husband as the head of anything when he is abusive, unloving, or unsubmitted to God. Having been a go-getter all my life, I feel tremendously blessed to have married a man who has proven himself worthy of leadership in our home. I pay him loving tribute in writing this column. And yet to the countless women who have endured the ravages of abusive and self-serving male headship, I say you have every right to revolt.

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A Touching Love Story

11th Grade ...

As I sat there in English class
a stared at the girl next to me
she was my so called "Best Friend"
I stared at her long hairs
and wish she was mine
but she didn't notice me like that
and I know it.
After Class,
she walked up to me and asked me for the notes
she had missed the day before
I handed them to her she said thanks
and gave! me a kiss on the cheeks
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don’t want to be just friends
I love her but I am just too shy
and I don’t know why



Marriage ...

Now I sit pews of the church
that girl is getting now
and drive off to her new life
married to another man
I wanted her to be mine
but she didn’t see me like that
and I knew it
but before she drove away
she came to me and said 'u came !'
she said thanks and kissed me on cheeks
I want to tell her
I want her to know
that I don’t want to be just friends
I love her but I am just to shy ..
and I don’t know why



Death ...

Year passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my best friend
at the service, they read diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years
this is what it read
I stare at wishing he was mine
but he doesn’t notice me like that
and I know it
I want to tell him
I want him to know that
I don’t want to be just friends
I love him but I’m just too shy
and I don’t know why ...
I wish he would tell me he loved me !

............... I Wish I did too.................

I thought to my self, and I cried.

A message

"Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” Colossians 1:10
The Joy of Giving
There are over 2,000 Scriptures in the Bible on money and giving. Here are two: a) "All must give as they are able, according to the blessings given to them by the LORD your God... “Deut 16:17.
b) "Let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly... for God loves a cheerful giver" 2 Cor 9:7.
Here are two stories on the joy of giving worth thinking about:
1) Oseola McCarty, 87, did one thing all her life: laundry. Now she's famous for it. For decades she earned fifty cents per load doing laundry for well-to-do families in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, preferring a washboard over a washing machine. Every week she put a little bit in a savings account. When she finally retired she asked her banker how much money she had. "$250,000," he replied. She was in shock. "I had more than I could use," she explained. So this shy, never-married laundry woman gave $150,000 to the University of Southern Mississippi to help young African American people attend college. "It's more blessed to give than to receive," she told reporters. "I've tried it."
2) Don McCullough, President of San Francisco Seminary, says: "Scottish Presbyterians established churches in Ghana over 100 years ago. Their worship services still resemble a formal Scottish Presbyterian service... But recently they've allowed traditional African expressions into the worship service. Now the people dance at offering time. The music plays, and each individual joyfully dances down the aisle to the offering plate. According to the missionary who told me this, the offering is the only time in the service when people smile. No doubt, God also smiles!"
The Academy Award-winning movie Shindler's List is the story of one man's efforts to make the most of a desperate opportunity. As the director of a munitions factory in Germany, Schindler decides to use his position to save lives. By employing them in his factory, Schindler is able to rescue condemned Jews from the gas chambers. But keeping them on is costly. Little by little, he liquidates his personal possessions in order to keep the business afloat. At the end of the story the Nazis are defeated. The full weight of Schindler's efforts is finally revealed as the dead are counted and the living stagger back to freedom. In one scene, kneeling by the railroad tracks that had carried thousands of Jews to their death, Oskar Schindler has a startling realization: he could have saved a few more. Overwhelmed with regret, he laments the few goods still remaining in his possession. If only he'd known when the war would end, he would have done more. But now it was too late.
Oskar Schindler is a hero. He's credited with saving more lives during World War II than any other single person. But interestingly, all he could think about was what he didn't do. He wished he had done more.
We can learn a powerful lesson about giving from this man. Because, in the same way, even joyful givers will look back on their lives and wish they'd done more. And as for those who never gave at all, or gave less than they could, imagine their thoughts as they stand before God in the final audit to give an account of how they used their finances - and are rewarded accordingly!

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